Those hours, that with gentile work did frame
That lovely gaze where every eye doth dwell,
Will play the tyrants the very same
And that unfair which fairly doth excell
For never-resting time leads summer on
To hideous winter and confines him there;
Sap checked with frost and lusty leaves quite gone
Beauty over snowed and bareness everywhere
Then were not summers distillation left,
A liquid prisoner pent in walls of glass
Beauty’s effect with beauty’s bereft
Nor it nor no remembrance what it was:
But flowers distilled though with winter’s meet
Leese but their show, their substance still lives sweet.
- William Shakespeare (Sonnet 5)
My Own Theory of Success
Success is something that has always been on my mind. There are so many definitions of success and so many theories on how to achieve this sought after “golden fruit.” For example, some authors believe that genetics, individual advantages, birth order, or my personal favorite: hard work has something to do with how a person will achieve success. There are so many more explanations that may yield true for some people; however in a personal matter, my theory on success starts from forms of internal factors: beliefs, values, and attitude.
First off, beliefs are what a person conceives to be true without actual evidence. Beliefs then plays a key role withing how an individual can attain success. With beliefs we are able to make assumptions about the world and how it works. We create our own hypothesis and theories on what we believe is true (like this piece for example). Napoleon Hill, a best selling author and motivational writer, once said “Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” In other words, if you are able to believe in something, your mind will make it happen. In a sense, our beliefs run much deeper just mere thoughts and observations. In fact our beliefs are what drive us to do what we do. Take the Israelis for example; the Israelis are able to fend off multiple attacks by much larger countries to protect their, what they believe, is their holy land. Surviving battles and maintaining their ground is what they consider success. Their belief of having the right to their holy land is what drives the Israelis to success. Beliefs are what we consider true and what we are all willing to fight for. By having the beliefs of being successful, one is able to unlock massive potential on what they believe is success.
Another factor that plays a role in success is a person’s values. Unlike beliefs, our values are ideas we hold important (i.e. equality, perseverance, honesty). From our own beliefs we derive our values, whether they are right or wrong based on what we have experience; nonetheless we hold true. By reason values are built from our beliefs, values govern our actions, behaviors and the way we communicate with people. In some way values a form of transition from a mental and inner thought to an physical and external action. For example, Olympic athletes are at the top of their sport; the biggest reason for this is that these athletes are passionate about their sport. They train an average of 10,000 hours just for a minute or even just 9 seconds to compete against other top athletes. Within that time frame of 10,000 hours, these athletes let no training sessions go to waste. And when they win or lose, you can see the emotions pouring out of them like a waterfall of relief. The training is something these athletes value. Without the value of the training, the 10,000 they’ve invested will just go to waste and mean nothing. For these athletes, intense training is a value that grew out of their belief in the sport. Values help strengthen our strive for success.
It is important to truly consider our beliefs and values when thinking about success; however, it is also important to consider our perception of ourselves - or to put it simply, our attitude. Our attitude or self-perception become very important when we create our own definition of success. Having a positive self-perception allows a person to be confident, driven, and passionate; whereas a negative self-perception creates thoughts of bitterness, hopelessness, and insecurity. Within business and the world of law, the positive attitudes and self-perceptions are what give successful individuals an edge over the competition. For instance - Joe Flom, a Jewish lawyer, who was denied a job within a law firm due to his religious practices and his desire to take on legal work dealing with corporate take overs. However, Flom’s form of disadvantages would soon change. During Flom’s time period, the 1950’s, Corporate takeovers became prominent. Which, in turn, Flom decided to use his former disadvantages as his greatest advantage. He soon was drawing in many corporate clients within a firm that hired him. Another example would be, NBA Hall of Famer, Spudd Webb. Webb has a stature of 5 foot and 7 inches; although lacking in height, he makes up for in a 49 inch vertical jump. With his short stature, he is able to make it seem like he can fly. Similar to Flom, Webb was able to change his disadvantages into a great advantage. This is possible because they’re attitudes about themselves and what they consider success allow them to. By being able to change our attitudes into something positive, we are able to create our own definition of success and achieve it.
To take all three inner factors of success and apply it to one’s self is a lot easier said than done. It is not as simple as turning on a switch. However, if an individual is able to harness the inner factors of success, they will be able to create their visions and realize them. Ultimately, although cliche, the inner thoughts of success will reflect the external actions that will lead to success. As for the definition of success, create your own.
On Being an Asian American Male.
I realize that being an Asian American man, I’m a constant target for racial stereotypes. I’m not saying that Asians are the only race being stereotyped; what I’m saying is that we are the only race that people are openly racial about. You never really see people being openly racist to Black or Hispanic people; but you do see open racism towards Asians; especially Asian males.
I guess it’s partly media’s fault. Media creates this cultivation within society that Asian are ALWAYS going to be what they, media, shows. Whenever I see an Asian male on T.V. or in a movie, I either see them as this kung fu master who kicks ass but can’t speak English. Or a computer geek that can figure out complex algorithms but can’t figure out how to get a date. I always see them as this shy person without confidence or charisma. I see them being treated as some sort of joke. Even as a kid, I always felt that media sucked at representing Asians. It’s fucking hypocritical that everyone says “racism is wrong” or “racism shouldn’t exist”; yet you see these stereotypes in clear sight in an everyday basis.
I feel like these stereotypes dehumanized Asian males in society in a way that they end up following these stereotypes. I see many Asian males at my school that pretty much look the same; they all seem like the walking stereotypes. I take solace because many of these guys have great personalities, yet the stereotypes make people think they are all the same. An Asian friend of mine actually liked this white girl in the library and I told him to just go up and talk to her. His response was slightly heartbreaking to hear. He said, “Nah, dude. I can’t. Look at me. No white girl wants to go out with an Asian. They probably think I’m a stereotype.” In other words he thought he had to be this Adonis type person to even think about approaching a beautiful girl. So, I decided to approach her for him. She told me that she actually found my friend kind of cute, but if only he would have went up to her. Clearly many Asians are shy about their stereotypes. It limits their confidence on what they do.
As for myself, I’ve always tried to stay away from these stereotype and when they do come up I’ve always used them to my advantage. I realized that I never wanted to be labeled as a generic copy of a kung fu master or the computer geek; I’ve always wanted to see myself as my own person. I want to fundamentally change these stereotypes about Asian American men and redefine the meaning of being an Asian American Man. I don’t want to be seen as that Asian guy. I want to be seen as an Asian man with his own Identity. I want to be seen as Josh Bringas.
There comes a time in every man’s life when he is faced with the decision between what is easy and what is right.
Those who make mistakes blame themselves and close their hearts. I’ve come to realize that there just some mistakes that are impossible to fix; men cannot return to the past. I guess that’s why some drink. Many who have made irreversible mistakes drink, sliding alcohol down their throats to dilute the memories that cannot be forgotten. When I drink, I question the glass as it is half empty. Am I wrong? Was I wrong?
As I try to move on I see myself coming back to the same place. I feel as if some mistake will haunt me until I am somehow able to fix it. But as for ho to fix it, I do not know. As for how many more times must I relive mistakes, I don’t know.
Perhaps it’s karma bringing back unresolved problems. Karma after all is a cycle that brings both good and bad fortune depending on what an individual has done. Much like my reoccurring dreams.
The only thing that I know is that I cannot take solace in drowning myself with more misery. Every drop will do nothing more than lead to my own self destruction.
I often find myself looking at the sky and wondering if there is such a thing as a finished tapestry of events that will lead us to our destiny. Every event in our lives were in inevitable and bound to happen. This makes sense in some sort of way that we will have our ups and downs in life. Yet, I still think to myself, “If there is a tapestry, could we not be the artists to have created that masterpiece?” We have free will and every choice we make will lead us either closer or further to our destiny.Could there be some balance to a preordained fate and a fate made by one’s choice?
Was it my choice or was it fate that made me fix my mistakes? To walk a certain path? To be who I am?
Are we the tapestry or are we the artists?
A man’s deepest purpose is generally found down the path that he fears to follow.
I’ve asked this many times before… but how much pain can the human heart take? There’s so much pain in the world and it continues to grow. Is there some sort of off switch to stop the flood of sorrow entering the world? Or does this pain ultimately fill the heart and we just die. So, how much pain can the human heart take? I don’t know.
Whenever something is gained, something is always lost. It truly is difficult to live after something like that. Sometimes what is lost may never return. Important things, irreplaceable things… but sometimes what is need to keep those things is the firm will of the mind, the heart, and the soul. We all know that nothing will begin, unless we speak and nothing will change, unless we move.
